For example, if something makes you feel angry, express that anger. If you become overwhelmed with sadness, don’t be afraid to cry. You might wish to talk about your feelings with a friend or therapist or write them down in a journal. Do what helps you express your emotions. Negative feelings won’t just disappear immediately and may come and go for some time, but this is normal and healthy. You may alternate between periods of happiness, sadness, anger, fear, guilt or others. Embracing the negative emotions can help you understand and work through them sooner. Likewise, whenever you are feeling good, enjoy it! You earned it!
If talking about your story gives you extreme anxiety, see a mental health professional who specializes in trauma for advice so you avoid further traumatizing yourself in the process. [3] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 19 August 2020. If you aren’t sure but feel like trying, start with brief disclosures and then gauge how you feel. If you don’t want to tell your story, sometimes it can help to provide support for someone else who needs it. While many people find it helpful to talk, you might want to express your feelings through singing, dancing, our journaling. [4] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
Being a part of a spiritual community may help you gather with other like-minded individuals ready to help you and support you. Join a spiritual community or participate in spiritual practices on your own. Start by meditating or by reading sacred texts.
If you’re invited to spend time with friends, do your best to go, even if you don’t feel like it. Spending time doing “normal” things can help you feel like you’re moving toward a more normal life once again. On the other hand, you don’t need to try to do so many things you have no time at all to think about your trauma. You might try designating a specific time to think about it, process emotions and grieve. You may eventually learn how to ‘save’ emotions or thought that pop up throughout your day for you to go over during your designated time. Even as you get involved with activities, take measures to feel safe. For example, go with other people you trust, stay in well-lit public areas, and allow yourself to leave if you ever feel unsafe.
Remember that addictive behaviors are not limited to drugs, but could include excessive eating, spending, gambling or technology use. Practice moderation to avoid these extremes. If you think you might have an addiction, get treatment and do activities that don’t revolve around addictive substances.
Schedule a consistent daily time for these activities instead of trying to do them just when you think you need them. By forming these good habits you will be more likely to practice them even when you don’t really feel like it or on a bad day, which is when you need to relax the most. If you don’t know where to start, try yoga, qi gong, or meditation. You can also listen to calming music, write in a journal, or take a daily walk with your dog. Have “mini-relaxation” activities on hand that you can do when you feel anxious and are not at home. For example, carry around essential oils, a stress ball, a book that you enjoy, or a fidget spinner that you can use anywhere.
There are lots of ways to practice mindfulness. You can focus on one sense at a time (like listening intently or visually scanning the room in detail) or focus on your breathing. Mindfulness can be challenging at first, but will become much easier with practice. Nobody is adept at this technique when they are just starting out, so don’t get discouraged and give up! Consider trying guided meditations to familiarize yourself with it, either in a class or from various online resources.
Some sports to try that involve your full body and require concentration include boxing, rock climbing, and martial arts.
Stay away from alcohol and drugs as ways to cope. Prioritize your healing by staying committed to healthy living habits.
You may also want to have activities that make you feel safe at your safe place. This might be singing, dancing, talking to someone, or writing in a journal.
Lean on people who will listen and care about you. If there are friends who often drain you, take some time away and focus on being with the people who add to your life positively. Some people may try to tell you to “get over it” or otherwise push you to move on before you are ready. While these people usually mean well, or may be trying to deal with their own discomfort over the situation, being around them too much can be detrimental to your recovery.
Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or by calling your local mental health clinic. You can also obtain a recommendation from a physician or friend. Healing can take time, but therapy can help you understand how to manage it and learn to thrive.
Find an EMDR therapist by looking online. Make sure that they are qualified to administer EMDR therapy.
Find a trauma support group in your local community or join an online group.
