You can say, “Do you want someone there when you take Fluffy to the vet? I’d be willing to come with you, if you want. ” If the dog has already died, you can also offer to go with them as they pick up the dog’s body or ashes. You might say, “Would it help if I came with you to pick up the ashes?” This can be an intensely personal event. If your friend refuses your help, respect their wishes.
Let them cry. It is natural to cry after the death of a beloved pet. Your friend may feel ashamed of crying in front of you, but you should encourage them to express their sadness. You can tell them, “It’s ok to cry. Don’t be afraid to let it all out. ”[2] X Research source Remember that everyone grieves in their own way. If you think your friend’s reaction is different than what yours would be or even “over-the-top,” try your best to be supportive of their individual grieving process anyway. Do not tell your friend to “move on” or say “you’ll feel better soon. ” These phrases can make them feel as though you are belittling their feelings.
You can start the conversation by saying something like, “You know what my favorite memory about Max is?” You can also say, “Tell me. How did you first get Max?”
If the dog was euthanized, you can say, “You made the right decision. You spared her a lot of pain, and she was able to go peacefully because of it. ” If the dog died of sickness or old age, you can say, “There was nothing anybody could have done. He had a good life, and you cared for him the best that anyone could. ” If the dog died because of an accident, you can say, “It’s not your fault. Accidents happen, and it was outside of your control. ”
You might offer to help out at the funeral. Perhaps you can bring flowers or cook everyone a meal after the service.
A nice message might say something like, “Dear Mark, I’m so sorry to hear about the death of Molly. I know you loved her very much. While this may be a difficult time, I want you to know that you are in my thoughts. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. ”
You can tell them, “I’m here for you if you need to talk or if you just want a shoulder to cry on. Don’t feel afraid to call me. ”
You can say, “I think you should wait a little while before you get another dog. Allow yourself time to grieve for Sparky. ” Sometimes people believe that they can get a new dog of the same breed, and it can replace their old dog. Remind your friend that the new dog will have their own personality, habits, and characteristics, even if they are the same breed.
You can say, “I found a pet support group at the local human society. Maybe you want to check it out. If you want, I can go with you. ” The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement hosts a directory where you can find local support groups. Your local animal shelter may also host support groups. Contact them to see if there are any options for your friend.
Cleaning their house Cooking a meal Picking up their groceries Taking care of their other pets
A framed picture of their dog A plaster bone or paw with their dog’s name A photo album of pictures A memorial video[11] X Research source
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement Critters Online
ASPCA Animal Welfare League Best Friends
