Be willing to admit when you’re having a hard time and give your loved ones the chance to support you. Take a look at your day-to-day life. In what areas are you struggling? Now, think about the people you can trust to offer you non-judgmental assistance. These may be friends, family members, neighbors, or people who go to the same church as you do. Make a list of all the people you trust and put it on your fridge so that it is easy to find when you need it. In this step, you don’t have to take any action. All you need to do is become aware of some of the things you’re having trouble with and identify some people who might be willing to help. [1] X Research source
For instance, if you have just gone through a breakup, you might need someone to keep you company and lend a sympathetic ear. Or, maybe you have been caring for a sick loved one for a while and could use some help running errands and cleaning. Another possibility is that you have experienced a loss, such as the death of a loved one, friend, or pet. Perhaps you could benefit from someone making meals for you during this time.
For instance, if you’re dealing with depression, you could say to a friend, “I feel better when I leave the house, but it’s hard to get motivated to do that by myself. Will you start going for walks with me in the evenings?”
For instance, your crisis plan should include information about how to take care of any pets you have.
If you’re used to being the person who does everything for other people, it may take some time to feel comfortable accepting help. Think about how you feel when you help others, and realize that’s how the people in your support network feel, too.
Consider people who have helped you out in the past, who always give you good advice, and who you want to call right away when something important happens in your life.
Avoid assuming that people will contact you if they want to spend time together. They may be thinking the same thing about you.
Keep in mind that it’s best not to ask too much of new friends while the relationship is still developing. Avoid bringing up heavy or personal topics until you know the person better.
For instance, if you have a broken leg that prevents you from doing chores and running errands, don’t ask one friend to cover everything for you. Instead, ask a couple of friends to give you a hand around the house, and see if your family member, neighbor, or friend will run errands for you.
Sometimes people avoid asking for help simply because they don’t want to inconvenience others. If your loved ones say they don’t need anything, check in with them every once in a while, so they know your offer of support is genuine.
For instance, if your friend has been acting sad lately, you could take them out for coffee and ask if everything is okay.
For example, you might refuse to borrow money from family members because you don’t want to complicate your relationships. You might tell a loved one who offers, “I have a rule about not accepting money from family. I really appreciate the gesture, but I can’t accept this. " By communicating and standing firm in your own boundaries, you give your loved ones a model for which they can build their own.
