Be confident, but not cocky. While it’s likely your girlfriend is looking forward to your touch, don’t assume you have free access to her body at any time. Be respectful of her space. Calm yourself by breathing in for four seconds, then breathing out for four seconds. [1] X Research source Repeat this at least four times and you should begin to feel more at ease. If you’re still nervous, pinch yourself in the fleshy part between your thumb and index finger. Applying pressure to this area can quickly calm your nervous system. [2] X Research source
Pay close attention to her body language. People can very accurately read each others emotions via touch–if they’re paying attention. If she seems uncomfortable in any way–if her muscles tense, she avoids eye contact, or you just get a vibe that she doesn’t like it, stop what you’re doing. Don’t be upset or offended if your girlfriend isn’t in the mood to be touched. It probably has little to do with you–some people simply don’t like to be touched. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you. Think about how long you’ve been dating or any statements she’s made in the past about her limits. It’s not a good idea to grab her butt after you’ve been dating for a week, especially if she’s expressed that she wants things to go slow.
When you’re in public, keep things PG–just hold hands, or put your arms around each other, or maybe put your hand in her back pocket. Save the cuddling and really intimate stuff for when you’re alone.
If you’re nervous and your palms are sweating (which is normal and ok, but not always the best feeling sensation), quickly wipe them on your pants before reaching for her hand. Try hooking your pinkie finger with hers. This is a good move if you haven’t held hands yet or you’re nervous–it’s very flirtatious and makes it easy for her to drop your hand if she isn’t feeling the hand-holding yet. Slide your hand under hers so that they are palm-to-palm. Lace your fingers through hers so your hands are clasped together. Or try hooking your thumb over hers and wrapping your fingers around the back of her hand–the way you would hold your hands if you were making a “begging” gesture. You may want to change positions every few minutes so your palms don’t get too sweaty.
While walking side-by-side, reach your arm across her back and place your hand on her waist. Gently pull her toward you so she is snuggled against your body, under your arm. Be sensitive to the fact that she might not want to be touched near her stomach. Some girls are a little self-conscious about their waist and may not be comfortable being touched there–especially if you squeeze her. If she seems uncomfortable with your hand at her waist, try sliding it up to the bottom of her ribs, or simply putting your arm around her shoulders instead.
Slide your hands under your girlfriend’s arms and wrap them around her back. Slowly pull her toward you so that your bodies are pressed together, but not too tight! Rest your chin gently on the top of her head, look down into her eyes, or nuzzle your head against her neck. If she is comfortable with this, let your arms slide down so that you are embracing her around her waist.
Walk up to your girlfriend from behind and slide your hands under her arms. Wrap your arms around her waist in a backwards hug. Kiss the top of her head, her cheek, or her neck for a little added romance.
When sitting side by side, drape your arm across her upper back. You can hold her arm or shoulder with your hand or run your hand up and down her arm. After a few minutes, try gently running your fingers through her hair. If you are very comfortable with each other, take your free arm and slide it under her knees, encouraging her to lift her legs and drape them across your lap. If she’s resting her head on your shoulder, you can rest your head on the top of her head.
You may have to move around a bit to figure out what to do with the arm that is beneath you. It can quickly become uncomfortable if your arm gets pinned underneath your body weight or your girlfriend. Make it even more intimate by intertwining your legs together while you’re spooning.
Slide your arm under her neck or have her lift her head so you can get your arm around her. Place your hand on her shoulder and gently pull her toward you. This position will allow her to rest her head on your chest or arm. She may remain laying on her back or roll onto her side so she is facing you. Use your free hand to run your fingers through her hair or caress her face.
