If you call her or start checking in with her, then she may get the wrong impression and think you want something more than just hooking up. Treat it like meeting a new and exciting girl out at a bar and then bring her home.
Enough time should pass that you can see your ex as someone hot who you’d like to hook up with, instead of letting all of your old complicated feelings or emotions well up at the sight of her. Enough time should pass so you get rid of any anger or lingering resentment or bitterness. [2] X Research source
Don’t give her a puppy-dog love gaze. Look her up and down and let her see that you think she looks hot. Be blunt. Ask her to come over or wait for an invitation to go to her place.
Don’t be a jerk. It’s not cool to lead on your ex, hook up with her again, and then tell her that you’re not really looking to reconnect.
Look into her eyes when you talk about your hook-up status. Does she really agree that it’s a good idea, or does she clearly think it’ll turn into something more? Think about how serious the relationship was in the beginning. If you were only together for a month or two, then you’re both much more likely to be okay with just hooking up than you’d be if you dated for a year or two. Make sure you’re both okay with also hooking up with other people. If you’re not, then why not just get back together?
Be honest about it. Don’t make an excuse every time your ex wants to go somewhere public with you. Tell her that you’re not looking for anything other than hooking up.
Keep it fun and spontaneous. If you see her out, then take her home. If not, then don’t call her or text her to find out where she is. You’re not supposed to care that much, remember?
No cuddling, no passionate kisses as you leave, and no hanging out around the house in sweatpants eating cold nachos from the night before. All of these signs show that you’re too comfortable in the non-relationship and that you’re on your way to dating again. [4] X Research source
This doesn’t mean you should tell your ex exactly what to do; you should find a time and place that works for both of you, but you shouldn’t fall prey to her needs.
If you start going out in public with her and hanging out with her friends, they’ll immediately disapprove and tell your ex that she should set the terms for your relationship. If you bring her out in front of your friends, then she’ll start to feel like your girlfriend again.
You can tell her how hot she is and how much you love her body, but stick to the sexy – not the tender – compliments if you want it to last.
If you start getting that achy feeling in your heart and start musing about what a great relationship you had while knowing it can never work, then it’s time to leave. If your ex tells you she misses you, sends you sweet (not sexy) texts, or says she wishes you could do some couple-y things together, then it’s time to bow out. If you have to end the “relationship” for this reason, explain yourself first. You shouldn’t be a jerk just because it’s over.
If you know your ex has a crush on someone else, you’re doing her a disservice by continuing to hook up with her and taking up her time. If you start liking another girl, she won’t want anything to do with you if she knows that you’re hooking up with an ex-girlfriend.
You can’t expect the hook up to last more than a month or two without it leading to something more. Be realistic.
It may be tempting to fight with your ex again if you’re used to it, but remember that it won’t lead you anywhere except back where you were – a bad relationship.
Be honest about ending the hook-up session. Don’t just start avoiding or ignoring your ex. Let her know it’s time to move on. Alternatively, if you want to rekindle a relationship after breaking up, ask her directly if she would be open to it. [8] X Research source Keep in touch with her regularly. [9] X Research source Remind her of good things and good times in your relationship. [10] X Research source
