Their pleasant demeanor may vanish when they do something that might show weakness. Rather than turn to you for support, as a friend will, they will retreat further, focusing on the special circumstances or the unique nature of their situation. This change may come when they think something about you changes. They will find something about you that doesn’t fit into the vision they have for you and your relationship. These differences suggest that you aren’t the same as them, making you not a good as they are.
Narcissism involves a certain emptiness, a concern that the person doesn’t live up to their own expectations. To compensate, they will like to be surrounded by admirers who tell them that they are smart, attractive, or whatever else the person with narcissism needs to hear.
In some cases, this sense of self-worth can be expressed as infidelity. A person with narcissism will look for someone else who can focus on taking care of their needs, implying that their current partner cannot. [5] X Research source You can find similar backgrounds in business leaders with narcissism. They stay at companies for a short time, end up wrecking or damaging the business, then quickly move on to the next one. They will also always have an explanation or excuse for how they couldn’t have done any better.
If you suspect a person might have narcissism, looking at the way they present themselves outwardly can be a good sign. Many people with narcissism can draw you in at first because they are trying make a good first impression. [7] X Research source [8] X Research source Part of the reason why people with narcissism may like expensive flashy clothing is because they use these items as a way to show off high status and improve their own status. One comparison is that a shopaholic will talk about a great deal they got on something, while a person with narcissism will talk about how prestigious the item is.
Relevance is one key to understanding a person with narcissism’s self-reference. People will naturally try to relate conversations to personal experiences and things they understand. A person with narcissism is different because they will always look for a way to interject their experiences or perspective, even if it has nothing to do with what you are talking about.
A person with narcissism will likely try to exaggerate their accomplishments. they will try to make themself look like the most important person in every conversation. Because these are exaggerations, a person with narcissism might not always be successful. If they fail at doing something, you can be sure there will be excuses or other explanations for why it didn’t work. The answer certainly won’t be an admission of fault or making a mistake. Someone or something else will always be at fault. [11] X Research source
In many cases, these fantasies will be unattainable, causing them to lash out at people who suggest they aren’t possible.
It seems counter-intuitive, but narcissists don’t want to use “I” when talking about their ideas. Beginning a statement with “I think” or “My opinion is” suggests that what they are saying may not be completely correct, or is open to critique.
This is different from citing authorities to back up a position. A person with narcissism isn’t interested in providing a background for their assertions. Instead, it is about using this authority to stop conversation and get you to admit they are correct.
Some people with narcissism will even find pleasure in other people’s discomfort. This isn’t because they take pleasure in misfortune, but rather because it reinforces their own sense of superiority because these troubles don’t affect them.
A person with narcissism may not always lash out at you. Instead, the person might offer excuses, mentioning outside forces that made their success impossible. Sometimes they can tend towards conspiracy theories, ideas that someone else “has it out for me. ”
Avoid challenging a person with narcissism. The result might be confrontational or even violent.
