Cry, punch a pillow, sit in your car and scream if you think it will release some of the negativity. [2] X Research source Try not to turn to alcohol or other substances to cope with your feelings. This may work temporarily, but it may only make things worse in the long run. Be careful that you don’t get caught up in your sadness. At a certain point, you will have to start making moves to heal. If it’s been weeks and you’ve stopped taking care of yourself (not showering, crying all the time, refusing to see friends), then it’s time to focus on feeling better.
Keep in mind, this person is probably not trying to hurt you. They can’t make themselves have feelings for you, either. [5] X Research source
This also means minimizing your contact online, too. If you can unfollow, unfriend, or at least hide this person from your social media, do so. Checking on their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter will just keep the feelings alive. If the person knows you have feelings for them, tell them you need some space. Ask that they respect that space so you can heal. Staying away from someone you really like can be hard, but it’s an important part of putting a stop to these feelings.
Put whatever you want on the list, since it’s just for you. Maybe they smack their lips when they eat, and that would have really bothered you after a while. Or maybe they would flake out on your plans all the time and cause you a lot of pain. Write it down! Studies show that recognizing someone’s lesser qualities can help you get over rejection faster.
Don’t think that because this person doesn’t like you, no one ever will. [10] X Research source Remember that everyone is rejected at some point in their lives. This is a universal experience, and you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself because someone didn’t like you back.
Focusing on this one person you have feelings for can narrow your scope: it can seem like no one else exists or can make you happy. Meeting new people reminds you this is not true. Don’t isolate. You may feel like you just want to be left alone, and that’s okay sometimes. But spending time with other people will speed up the healing process and distract you.
Volunteer or get involved in a cause you are passionate about. Go to the movies, listen to upbeat music, read a good book, exercise, or dance. Start a new creative project, like writing a story, song, or poem; draw or paint a picture; learn a dance. Concentrate on your studies or work.
Watch a comedy, funny videos online, or even just search for funny animated gifs. Laughter increases pain resistance. When you experience emotional pain, it activates the same areas of your brain as physical pain. [13] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Laughing will relieve your heartache.
Ask your friends and family for help if you are having trouble with your list. Are you generous and thoughtful? A good listener? Dependable? Write it down. Re-read your list often, especially when you’re feeling down.
If it has been months and months and you feel no change, you may need a little extra help.
When you feel better, you won’t feel anxiety or longing when you hear their name. [17] X Research source You will think about them less and less. [18] X Research source You will start to truly see and understand that they were not the right person for you.
