Make eye contact with your partner whenever the car comes to a stop, and once you park turn your whole body towards them to show you’re listening and interested. [2] X Expert Source Eddy BallerDating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020. [3] X Research source Ask your partner questions. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, and trying to learn more about your partner’s life, hobbies, or thoughts signals that you’re interested. Try telling your partner something positive about themselves or about the time you just shared together, such as “I really had a good time with you tonight, and I’d be interested in hanging out with you again!” If they respond positively and echo your feelings - for example, if they tell you that they want to meet up again - this may be a good sign that they’re on the same page. [4] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source
See if your date is facing you with an open and relaxed posture. This can be a good sign that they feel comfortable with you.
Examples of light, non-sexual touch include tapping your partner on the shoulder to get their attention, touching their arm while you’re talking to them, or placing your hand right next to theirs. Touching your partner anywhere else might be seen as more sexual, and could make them uncomfortable.
Don’t try to kiss someone out of the blue, with no warning — you should try to build towards the moment gradually.
If you aren’t getting verbal consent from your partner, you need to be extra cautious that you’re reading your partner’s body language correctly — signs that your partner wants to continue include smiling, leaning towards you, and touching you back in the same way you’re touching them. [12] X Research source If your partner says no or appears uninterested, respect their wishes. Pushing too hard or too fast might make your partner uncomfortable, might make you seem creepy, and may ruin any chance you have with them.
Rest one hand on your lap or to the side and gently touch your partner on their cheek or hair with the other. [14] X Research source Follow your partner’s lead. If they’re keeping things light and slow, it’s best to do the same. Don’t try to push to go too fast — savor the moment, and continually try to read your partner’s body language to make sure they’re feeling comfortable and relaxed. [15] X Expert Source Eddy BallerDating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020. Also, remember that you can stop anytime you want, even if you’re the one who initiated the kiss. Don’t feel pressured to go further than what you’re comfortable with. [16] X Research source
You should definitely have had some sort of basic physical contact, such as light kissing or hand-holding, before initiating a make-out session. [17] X Research source You can see how your partner feels about getting more physical by saying something like, “I would love to find a more private place to kiss you. Would you like that?"[18] X Research source Tell your partner where you’re planning on taking them before you drive to a more remote area. It may be tempting to keep it a surprise in order to make it feel more romantic, but you may end up killing the mood instead, as some people may be worried for their safety if you unexpectedly drive to an area where no one else can see you.
Kissing in public is not against the law in most places, but if you want to escalate things beyond kissing, you may need to move to a more private spot indoors. If an act is illegal in public, then it’s illegal to do in a car that’s parked in a public spot. [20] X Research source
Try to build towards a moment where you are locking eyes with your partner, as this is usually when a kiss happens. But be careful not to stare intensely at your partner, as this can be seen as creepy![22] X Research source
Keep the kiss interesting by occasionally breaking apart to look into your partner’s eyes or ask them if they like what you’re doing. Every once in a while, move your hands to a new location, such as their hair, neck, hands, or leg. [25] X Research source
Slide your seats backwards and tilt the seats back if you’re in the front seat. If you’re in a vehicle with a bench seat, you may be able to just tilt the seats back and then lie down across the seat. If there is a gearshift in between the two front seats, and you don’t want to lean over it, it may help for both of you to move over to the passenger seat, where there’s no steering wheel or pedals to get in the way. Move the front seats forward if you’re going to hop in the back of the car. Try to make as much room as possible for you and your partner by sliding the seats up and flattening the backseat down into the trunk, if possible. [26] X Research source
Get verbal consent by telling your partner what you want to do before you do it. For example, as you’re kissing, tell your partner something like, “I’m going to slide my hand under your shirt,” and wait for them to tell you yes or give you a non-verbal sign, like kissing you more enthusiastically. [28] X Research source Pay attention to your partner’s body language. Anytime you escalate your physical touch, read your partner’s reaction. If they lean in closer, or touch you back in the same way, that’s a good sign that they like what you are doing. If your partner moves backwards, stops what they’re doing, or doesn’t give you much of a response back, then pull back, as these are all physical ways of giving someone a “no. “[29] X Research source
Run a vacuum over the seats if they’re dirty. Most car washes and some gas stations have vacuum cleaners you can use on your car. If you’re worried about smells, hang up an air freshener or spritz some odor-eliminating spray in your car. Wipe down the dashboard and door handles by the passenger seat, and remove any trash or clutter that might be sitting in compartments in the side door.
If you want to cool down the car, ask your partner whether they prefer the windows or air conditioning, as some people might prefer fresh air, while others might not like too much wind from outside.
If you live in an area that’s not too flat, try to find a hill or other spot with a scenic overlook. You could also try driving to a nearby park and finding a place that’s a bit more hidden by trees. Don’t park under a streetlamp, or in your partner’s brightly-lit driveway where parents might see. Make sure you’re allowed to be parked in your spot. For example, a lot of parks close at sunset and you could get in trouble for trespassing if you park your car there. [32] X Research source
