It could be that your partner just needs a little more time to themselves and is reluctant to tell you so directly. Put them at ease by letting them know that they’re entitled to have a life of their own, and that you’re fine with them flying solo every now and then. Keep in mind also that the amount of time you spend together (and the quality of that time) will fluctuate occasionally as you move forward in your relationship. This is totally normal, and shouldn’t be viewed as a cause for alarm unless it’s a sudden, significant difference. [2] X Research source
Try being the one to start the discussion that you want to have. If they respond well, it may just not have occurred to them to bring it up themselves. If you get short, unenthused responses, it’s possible that they’ve checked out mentally or emotionally. Though it’s not a very comforting thought, one reason your partner may be getting bored with you is that you’ve become, well, boring. If you feel like your life has gotten somewhat monotonous, try switching up your normal routine, learning a new skill, or doing some traveling to broaden your horizons. That way, you and your partner will have more to talk about. [4] X Research source
To reclaim their attention, come up with ideas for fun and out-of-the-ordinary things to do together, like hit up a drive-in movie, go ice skating, or play laser tag. Even offering to give them a back rub might be enough to snap them out of their electronic trance. [6] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Excessive phone use isn’t necessarily always a red flag. Some people are just more dependent on their phones for entertainment than others. Fret accordingly.
Tell them as gracefully as possible that it makes you uncomfortable when they flirt with other people. If they truly care about you, they’ll understand and take steps to change their behavior. It’s normal to be attracted to someone other than the person you’re with. When that curiosity leads to exploration, however, it can cause serious problems within a relationship.
Perfunctory responses like, “Yeah?”, “Huh,” or “That’s cool” ordinarily just serve as a way for the listener to convey that they’re holding up their end of the conversation. You can’t blame someone for being bored with you if you’re actually being a bore. Play it safe and avoid the kinds of subjects that people often fall back on when they don’t know what else to talk about, like the weather or work. You’re probably just as sick of talking about that kind of stuff as they are, anyway.
By contrast, an attentive listener will typically pose more sophisticated questions, such as “What do you mean by that?” or, “Was this before or after you moved into the new house?” These sorts of questions are designed specifically to draw more information out of you. The amount of interrogating your listener is doing can also help you gauge their level of curiosity. The more interested they are in you or your thoughts on the matter, the more questions they’re likely to ask.
When some people are really jazzed about a certain subject, they may have a tendency to interrupt out of eagerness rather than rudeness. You should be able to tell the difference easily. [12] X Research source Being a good conversationalist often comes down to being a good active listener. If the person you’re talking to wants to say something bad enough to warrant interrupting you, it may be best to just give them the floor.
If things start to feel one-sided, reconsider your own responses. If you find yourself repeatedly making dead-end responses like “Yeah,” “I don’t know,” or, “I guess so,” it may be time to walk away or change things up and start asking the questions instead. People who enjoy talking about themselves, or talking for the sake of talking, will never run out of things to talk about.
Other signs of “closed” body language include slouching or hunching, crossing one’s arms, or looking down or away. [15] X Research source Interested girls in particular may stand a little closer to you and act a bit more relaxed. [16] X Expert Source Elvina Lui, MFTMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 15 March 2019.
Another thing to watch for is when your listener’s eyes start to “glaze over,” or take on a spacey, far-away look. They may be looking right at you and not hear a word you’re saying if their mind is somewhere else. [18] X Research source Make sure you don’t come across like you’re staring the person down. If they weren’t off-put before, they may be after one too many long looks.
On the flipside, if your listener is moving around excitedly, you can be fairly certain that they’re enjoying talking with you. Much of a person’s non-verbal behavior, of course, simply depends on their personality. Introverts, for example, typically aren’t as animated as more outgoing individuals. Do your best to feel your listener out based on what you know about them. [20] X Research source
Many social scientists claim that 3 is the magic number when it comes to nodding. A single tip of the chin may be a polite gesture, but a trio of head bobs likely means that your listener is really taking in what you’re telling them. Emphatic nodding is often accompanied by strong eye contact. It’s only when someone nods continuously without meeting your gaze or even seeming to hear what you’ve said that you need to worry.
