This could be a sign she’s trying to blame you for her cheating. She might say things like, “You never listen to me!” “The romance is dead in our relationship!” or “I see you talking to other girls all the time. ”
For instance, she might say she’s working late even though she’s never had to do that before. Similarly, she might suddenly be traveling for work despite not getting a pay bump. Don’t automatically assume she’s cheating just because her schedule changes. For instance, she might work more hours if she wants a promotion or she might take up a new hobby to improve herself. It’s okay for her to do new things.
On the one hand, she might not want to be intimate with you as often. In this case, she might pull away when you kiss her or show no interest in sex. However, she might suddenly be much more affectionate and may want sex more often. She may even show off some new sexual moves.
You might ask, “How has work been lately?” “Are you excited about the upcoming holidays?” “You’ve seemed stressed lately. What’s on your mind?”
If she’s cheating, she’ll likely communicate with her new partner using her electronic devices. She’ll want to keep these communications secret, so she’ll get upset if she thinks you might see them. It’s normal for your girlfriend to want to keep her phone private, so don’t assume that she’s cheating just because she doesn’t want you checking her phone. If you share a device with your girlfriend, you might notice that she’s deleting messages a lot. This might also be a sign of cheating.
For instance, she might lose weight at the gym or buy a new wardrobe. Keep in mind that she might be doing this for herself. Don’t assume that your girlfriend is cheating just because she wants to look her best.
As an example, let’s say you normally hold hands while you’re walking around in public. She may suddenly start pulling her hand away. Similarly, she might turn away when you try to kiss her on the cheek or step back when you go in for a hug. Don’t worry about this if you’ve never been a couple who engages in PDA.
Avoiding eye contact Folding her arms over her chest Turning away from you
For instance, she might disappear on Friday night from 6 p. m. to 10 p. m. with no explanation. Before you assume that she’s cheating, consider if she’s recently gone through some life changes. For instance, if your girlfriend is working full-time and recently started attending school, she might just be really busy.
As an example, she might say things like, “Alex is so creative! Let me tell you what happened at work today. ” Keep in mind that it’s healthy for your girlfriend to have friends, and it’s important to trust her. Don’t assume that every new friend is a threat to your relationship. If the person is just a friend, she should be open with you about the relationship. Additionally, she should tell that person about you.
You might say, “I really love you and want to have a future together. Lately, I’ve been worried that our relationship might be changing. I’ve noticed that you aren’t as affectionate, disappear for hours at a time, and are spending more time on your appearance. These behaviors have me worried that you’re cheating. ” You could also say, “I’m having some fears that you’re going outside of the relationship. Can we talk about this in an open and honest way?"[12] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. It can be tough to juggle so many negative emotions, but it’s important to go into the conversation with neutral intent. In some cases, it could just be a big misunderstanding. [13] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
You could say, “I see that you’re upset, and that’s not my intention. I want to make things better for us, but I need to know the truth. ”
Say, “It sounds like you’ve been questioning our relationship,” or “It sounds like you’ve just had more things on your plate than I realized. ” These listening techniques help you clearly understand one another, and leave less room for misinterpretation. [17] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. You might want to break up with her if she is cheating. However, listening to her side and thinking things over gives you a chance to make the best decision for you.
Her body language suddenly changes when you ask her about cheating. She starts squirming, fidgeting, or pulling away. Her sentence structure changes to longer, more confusing sentences. She breaks eye contact. Her facial expression changes. She blushes, bites her lip, flares her nostrils, or sweats. She talks either faster or slower and her tone changes.
Remember—cheating doesn’t have to mark the end of a relationship. It can also be a very beautiful beginning![20] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. If she admits to cheating, ask yourself if that’s something you can get over. If it’s not, it might be best to move on. Consider asking your girlfriend to work on things with you. If she shows an interest in saving your relationship, it might be worth trying to make things work. You could also suggest going to couple’s counseling so you have a really safe place to explore everything that is going on. [21] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.