There are good reasons and bad reasons for wanting a boyfriend. [1] X Trustworthy Source Chabad. org Online resource for information related to Chabad-Lubavitch and Jewish culture Go to source Companionship and a partner to share life with are good reasons for wanting to seriously date one specific person. If you feel unhappy or incomplete, keep in mind that a person can’t fulfill that for you. [2] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Boyfriends can be a temporary cure for boredom or loneliness, but expecting them to be perfect and always there for you is not realistic since they are imperfect, just like you.
Your ideas about dating will affect how you treat a boyfriend. If you want to get married, you will expect more loyalty and long-term plans out of a boyfriend than if you just wanted to date a lot of guys and weren’t worried about being too serious. [3] X Trustworthy Source Chabad. org Online resource for information related to Chabad-Lubavitch and Jewish culture Go to source
Committing a few hours or days a week to spending time with a boyfriend is about the average time you’ll need to set aside. [4] X Research source Don’t neglect your friendships or family. Dating can take up a lot of your time and you don’t want to be the person who disappears while they’re in a relationship and then resurfaces only when a break-up happens. [5] X Research source However, technology makes it easy to have a boyfriend and still have a life outside of the relationship. You can text, call, or video call if you don’t have time to spend together face to face.
Remember that you have time to figure things out. You’re never too old to start dating and you’re never too old to figure out what you want to do with your life. [7] X Trustworthy Source Chabad. org Online resource for information related to Chabad-Lubavitch and Jewish culture Go to source Don’t worry about not having enough time. There will be plenty of boys to date so you don’t need to feel desperate about being alone or the only one in your friend group without a boyfriend.
Don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking you have to have a boyfriend. A simple “No, thank you” or “I’m not interested in dating right now” can help deter anyone who wants to ask you out if you don’t feel ready. If you’re ever feeling pressured by a guy friend or a boyfriend, especially about sex, you have the right to step away from that relationship and say no.
You always have the option to group date to help take the pressure off the both of you. One on one time can be daunting and can also invite physical temptations, so you may want to start going on dates with a boy in a group with friends. Be careful not to accept dates out of pity or start a relationship that way. It will end up hurting both you and the boy in the end.
When you talk to your parents, be sure to ask about curfew, if you can drive with your boyfriend, if you should group date first, or if they have any other specific rules for you. [12] X Research source Some good questions to ask your parents could include: “When did you start dating?” and “Do you wish you had waited to start dating?” Your parents have your best interest at heart, so you should try and respect their wishes even if you don’t agree with them. To help convince them, if there’s a certain boy you want to date, bringing him around to meet your parents might help your case. Your parents may have a better idea of your maturity level. And listening to them is a great way to prove to them that you are mature enough to make grown-up decisions. [13] X Research source
If your friends aren’t dating yet because of their parent’s rules or everyone still hangs out in groups together, maybe you don’t need to break away yet and have one on one time with a boy. Ask your friends if you can hang out with them and their significant other to get an idea of what it’s like to date at your age. But, if your friends are happily established with significant others, you may be on the same maturity level as them and can handle having a boyfriend. [14] X Research source Just make sure that whatever you decide, you make the decision for yourself and not for your friends. Be careful. Just because your friends might all have boyfriends/girlfriends, doesn’t mean you have to have one. You might be old enough, but don’t feel pressured to just accept any boy’s offer for a date just because you want a boyfriend.
You may find that you want to wait for someone special to ask you out, or you may have even found that person already. Older couples will have more experience in a relationship. They’ll be a better source of advice, not your friend who has a different boyfriend every week. Ask questions such as: “When did you meet your spouse?” or “Do you think courting is a better idea than dating?” or “What kind of dates did you do on?”
Your religion or culture might have specific opinions on things like sex or birth control. While it may sound fun to rock the boat and do something rebellious, keep in mind that the rules you know might be in place to keep you safe. Remember, you are your own person and can have your own ideas and opinions. However, it may be in your best interest to respect the rules and culture around you. Whether you choose to go along with what everyone around you is doing or go off on your own about having a boyfriend, keep in mind that your choices will still impact others.
For example, if all the boys in church group don’t date until they want to get married, it’s best to wait for them to ask you out instead of trying to force a relationship.
Some organizations or even schools sometimes have rules about dating. It’s best to respect those guidelines about relationships so you don’t get yourself into trouble. [16] X Research source It may seem fun to be rebellious or edgy, but having a boyfriend for the sake of breaking rules or making a point is unhealthy.
