Living well isn’t just about learning how to handle your weaknesses. It involves building and capitalizing on your strengths.
Conversations in various social situations Job interview skills Asserting your needs and boundaries Reading facial expressions and gestures Determining whether someone is interested in talking
For example, you may be able to learn better listening skills, but you might not be able to erase your need for extra downtime. It would make sense to read articles about listening, but it wouldn’t make sense to push yourself to work too hard and risk burnout. You might not be able to do all the things that neurotypical people can do. Certain things, like hosting large parties, pulling all-nighters, or driving in heavy traffic, may not be realistic goals for you (depending on your individual skills and needs). This is okay.
Learn how to handle sensory overload and meltdowns. Set aside a quiet space in your home where you can retreat if you’re stressed or overwhelmed. Fill it with comforting things, like soft textures, stim toys, favorite music, and whatever helps you feel at peace. Tell any family members or roommates to leave you be when you’re in there. Try to spend time on your special interest(s) each day.
Being disabled doesn’t make you a weak or lesser person—it’s just one aspect of who you are. You can still find meaningful work, build worthwhile relationships, and make the world a better place.
Start doing laundry, cleaning your room, and doing dishes. Ask your parents for help until you feel able to do it yourself. Find a program that teaches disabled people to drive. Find a job. Job assistance programs are available to help you. Look into supported living, if needed.
Talk to your therapist. Try facing your fears in little pieces. If you’re afraid of talking to a guy you like, first smile at him in the hallway. Once you can handle that, try saying “Hi” or “How are you?” Remember that you’re in control, and you can back out whenever you start to feel overwhelmed. Ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that could happen? Is this realistic? How bad is it likely to get? Is it possible that your thinking is distorted? If you’re feeling bad about yourself, take the perspective of a friend. “Would I be okay with my friend being told that she’s a loser? Then should I say this to myself?” “Would I judge a friend for slipping up like that?” If not, then don’t treat yourself that way.
Watch people’s body language for clues about what they’re thinking about. If someone is interested in what you’re saying, they will probably look at you, make sounds like “mm hmm” or “uh huh” from time to time, and give questions or comments. If someone wants to change the subject or end the conversation, they might look away (like at a clock or a door), not talk very much, and look awkward or uncomfortable. If you don’t understand someone’s body language, you can ask. For example, “I notice you checking the time. Do you need to leave?” or “I have trouble reading body language sometimes. Do you want me to continue?” Sometimes people are interested in monologues, because they want to learn more about your special interests. If they ask, it’s okay to dive right in! Monitor their expression, and give pauses to allow them to react, so that you can adjust the subject or answer questions as need be.
Watch their hands or feet. (Looking in their general direction suggests listening. ) Look at their shirt, scarf, or necklace. Observe their chin, mouth, nose, hair, or forehead wrinkles. Look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye. Look at the point between their eyes. Unless they’re really close to you, it will appear to them that you are making eye contact.
Ask questions to clarify. “She moved the deadline of the report?” Summarize what they’ve said. “So, you felt frustrated when your dad kept cutting you off like that. " (It sounds silly, but it works!) Ask for their opinion. “Did you think it was fair of the academy to do that?”
“Were you looking for advice, or just someone to commiserate? Because that sounds like it stinks. " “Would you like some suggestions on how to deal with that?” “I went through a similar experience last fall. Let me know if you’d like any tips. "
“That sounds difficult. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. " “You sound excited! I’m happy for you!” “Wow, that must have been awkward. " “I’m really sorry to hear that. That sounds rough. "
Due to your intense focus and passion, you may even reach a leadership role! This will allow you to coach others (and will look great on your resume).
How to Balance Studying with an Autism Related Obsession How to Avoid Meltdowns How to Explain Autism to People How to Fall Asleep if You’re Autistic How to Make Friends if You Have Asperger’s Syndrome
