You should work on sharing hobbies, whether you bake desserts together, go hiking together, or find a good book that you can both read. Have a couple culture project. Try watching one movie together a week, or having your own mini-book club. This can motivate you to learn new things and keep your conversations interesting.
Healthy relationships are secure enough so that each of you can get some space every now and then. While it’s important to share passions, you should still have something that’s just yours whether it’s a weekly spa visit or a poker night with your friends.
Don’t expect your partner to bring you happiness. Set goals and take action to reach them. Build a strong support network outside of the relationship. Do work that adds meaning to your life. [3] X Research source
Compliment your significant other at least once a day. For bonus points, find something new to say every time![5] X Research source Don’t come to expect your partner’s good deeds. Tell your date or partner “thanks” when they show up with flowers. Showing appreciation reinforces positive behaviors. [6] X Research source
Schedule weekly date nights where you spend time together one-on-one. These don’t have to be fancy—go to a movie, have dinner in your home, or feed the ducks at the local pond. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Check in with your partner often to ensure they’re content in the romance department. Start by sharing your own feelings like “Our date last week was really fun! It was nice to be with you in a different way. What did you think about it?”[8] X Research source
Just because your best friend shacked up with her boyfriend of three weeks doesn’t mean that you and your beau have to go apartment hunting ASAP. On the other hand, be wary if they delay making a commitment. Talk to them to ensure that you both have the same goals. Ask, “Could we talk about where we see our relationship going?”
Set aside time daily to chat with your significant other. Pick the right place and time to talk, somewhere free of distractions. If discussing an issue, stick to “I” or “we” statements. These minimize any fault-finding and allow you to take ownership of your feelings.
Rephrase what your partner said to ensure that you got the right message. It may sound like, “So, it sounds like you’re saying…” Consider your partner’s feelings when communicating. Validate their emotional experience by saying something like: “I can see that you’re hurt. ”
Encourage your partner to do the same, but don’t demand it. Oftentimes, your partner will return the honesty if they see it coming from you first.
Share your boundaries in a calm and polite manner. For example, you might say, “I have been thinking about my personal boundaries and I wanted to share them with you…” Boundaries can be any principles you want to live by. These may include making sure your partner respects your privacy, allows you time to yourself, and acknowledges your values and spiritual beliefs. [13] X Research source
A healthy relationship should involve primarily positive interactions. If either partner is always complaining or nagging, your relationship could be in jeopardy. Know when to lay off on the nitpicking. Approach your partner with issues that compromise your values or the health of the relationship. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a month, a year, or five years?” If not, let it slide.
Give yourself a day or two before discussing the problem with your partner. Take care of yourself emotionally during this time. You could even jot down your thoughts about the disagreement. [16] X Research source Once you’re feeling calm, bring up the issue in a courteous tone. Use “I” statements like “I was really disappointed that you flaked on my performance the other night. It was a big deal to me, and I’d hoped you’d be there. ”
When you disagree on an issue, decide who cares about the issue the most. If it’s not that important to you, give in and compromise with your partner. Remember: both people should be willing to compromise. If you’re always the only one compromising, it’s time to have a talk. [17] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Choose a time to sit down each week and discuss your relationship’s health. Jot down any feedback, both positive and negative. Point out the positive aspects of your partner and relationship, and offer advice on how to improve the negative aspects. For example, you might say, “I noticed that you’re still having trouble keeping up with your part of the housework. Is there anything I can do to help you improve in that area?"
Also, give them the benefit of the doubt always. It’s easy once you’ve known someone for a while to start assuming what they did or didn’t do. Avoid this tactic and give your partner the liberty to evolve with time like anyone else.
Give issues time to resolve. For example, if your significant other has an annoying habit, don’t expect it to go away overnight. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should forgive and forget everything. For example, if your significant other is abusive, you should seek help.
Professional counseling may be just what the two of you need to build healthier communication patterns and make your relationship work. [22] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
