For example, if your spouse is an atheist, it’s unfair to try to force your religious views onto them. Allow them the freedom to decide what they believe, just as you do. Accept your spouse the way they are, and assume they won’t change. If you hold out hope that your spouse will convert, it could strain your marriage.
For instance, you and your spouse might have similar ideas about treating others well or raising a family. Consider what similar beliefs you both have. For example, do you both believe in a god?
For example, you might ask, “What’s a good book that can help me understand your faith?” to show you are trying to understand them better. Invite your spouse to learn more about your faith as well. Answer any questions they have, and help them find resources for learning more.
For example, you might attend services with your spouse on Sundays and they might join you for mid-week services at your place of worship. Make sure your spouse understands that you don’t intend to convert. Explain that you are secure in your own beliefs, but you want to support their faith because you love them. Make your spouse feel welcome in your religious spaces and traditions, too.
For instance, each of you could say a prayer from your faith before a meal.
For example, you might say, “As a Buddhist, I am driven towards finding peace in my everyday actions. My spirituality isn’t just a set of rules but a way of living and being. " It’s a good idea to have this conversation on a regular basis, since people’s religious beliefs and perspectives often shift throughout life.
You might ask, for example, “How will we celebrate religious holidays since we have separate faiths?”
Make sure your compromises are a joint effort. If not, you or your spouse will end up feeling resentful. For example, you might go through the calendar and decide how you will celebrate different holidays or holy weeks. Some, you might celebrate together, while you might choose to celebrate others separately.
You don’t need to be having marriage problems to see a counselor. Counseling can help prevent major problems from occurring in the first place.
For instance, if you are Christian and your spouse is not, ask your spouse if they are comfortable having a Christmas tree or hosting the family Easter celebration at your house.
This is a complicated and often touchy topic. Be sensitive about your spouse’s feelings as well as your own. Some parents opt to raise children in both of their religious traditions. Others pick only one. Either approach can work, but both require tolerance and cooperation.
Regardless of the religion you’re raising your kids to be, it’s important for them to have a positive and respectful view of both parents’ beliefs.
